no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
