google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
