Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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