she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
