So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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