I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
