you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
