ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
