Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
