i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
