It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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