On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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