everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
