franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
