there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
