You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
