im drinking this country out of the recession.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize