Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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