u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
