ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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