I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
