You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
