Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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