I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize