the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
