Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
