ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
