So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
