This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
