how do flat chested girls get laid?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
