I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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