This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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