everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
