Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
