you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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