My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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