I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
