take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
