Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize