was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
