"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
