He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
