covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize