Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
