ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
