There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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