Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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