xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
