I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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