If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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