it wasn't lemon gatorade
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
