he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
