Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
