We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
