there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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