You can't motorboat a personality
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
